What a couple of weeks it has been in the Black Family. We have celebrated Damien's 18th birthday....yes we survived the party, (so well in fact, that the parents lasted longer than the18 yr old's by out dancing the teens), we helped the new adult obtain his provisional license, buy his first car, and in the early May we also threw a 7 year old party to celebrate Flynn's birthday and it went off with a bang - all Nerf guns a blazing! Throw into this mix a bunch of media interviews, 12 added people staying in our house (welcome, wanted and beautiful ), serious ground work for Brave and interstate speaking gigs... it is any wonder you may be asking; why, oh why has she titled this blog, 'Scissors for my Hands'?
At the beginning of the month, I was driving in my car- a 2002 Ford Falcon station wagon- all class, with the dickie seats in the back (I know some of you love detail, nod nod- I can see you! ), that I heard the song 'Hands' by Jewel. After my dad passed away 11 years ago, this song became somewhat reminiscent of that moment in my life. The words are "My hands are small I know, but they're not yours, they are my own and they're not yours they are my own and I am never broken. Poverty stole your golden shoes, but it couldn't steal your laughter. When heartache came to visit me- I knew it wasn't ever after. We'd fight not out of spite, but someone must stand up for what's right, because where there's a man who has no voice, there ours shall go singing....."
Anyone over 30 and female, should be singing with tears welling up now. Boys- yes, blonde, country gal with the guitar. The funny thing is, that not only did I hear this tune once, but three times on different radio stations this month, hence I had a feeling there could be something new I might learn from this little ditty. So I set off in thought about my hands, what they do in the day, how they do things.... the growing number of wrinkles and how when I pinch my skin it doesn't bounce back into like it used to any-more ( anyone else with me on this?) So I started daily moisturising and thinking about what my hands deliver each day- what is in my hand anyway? A not for profit, no time, busy house, speaking business... not much room for anything else. Or is there?
It strikes me often (almost in sink as the turgor lessens in my 34 year old skin!) that the most pivotal moments in life are the simplest, so simple that you could almost overlook them. STOP- don't get the violins out now, get out Marshall Amplifier, what I was about to learn now was going to be very loud and clear.
I had an incredible encounter with a person this week, I was busy as a bee, trying to get a document for Brave to be completed by a deadline. As I was pushing the document up hill my computer crashed, and I was franticly trying to work the auto-recovery tool, I was greeted by a visitor who wanted to chat. Shock, horror 5 minutes of my time NOW. I remembered thinking- I wont get this in on time, I can't talk now, and almost gave the polite nod and smile, but then I looked at my hands and thought, OK- my call: what have I got to offer about this person? Surely a part of my day? The internal dialogue continued...what made my life so precious that I couldn't down-tool's for another? The mirror was critical of my behaviour. I went with the truthful reflection, looked at my hands and turned from my desk for ten minutes and made the mental adjustment to be available and there. I liked it, it was good. Those 5 minutes out of my life made my week and showed me what I do have in my hands at every moment, and the fact that I completely overlooked what other's have in theirs... how big did I think my hands were? A little big for their boots, or gloves!!
In 5 minutes of time, I felt the genuine interest and mate-ship of another human. This person was not too busy and they had this feeling about them.... I think its called space. The said person came to ask if they could help me in anyway, the foundation, my family. Now here is the clincher; this person said they had little to offer, but what they did have is some window cleaning stuff and would love to help with our windows in our home!
Light Bulb moment for Bern, here I was thinking (as in the Jewel song) that I was the someone who must stand up for what's right pioneering a Foundation, but no- here in my hands at this moment with this visitor- I nearly forgot the whole point, its never about the big things...but about the many times in life we can often overlook and see how we can use our hands best, even in the smallest encounters. 'My hands are small I know, they're not yours they are my own'... it's somewhat humbling and refreshing to know, that our hands don't have to be big or hold too much, but they are enough just as they are.
So in closing, as if hands haven't featured enough for me this month, my kids chose the movie for tonight: Edward Scissor hands. Now there is a story about the power of what's in our hands.....